A Multilingual Boy (what if I new all the languages in the world)

There are numerous stories that might seem unbelievable. This could be either because they are so fascinating, that you just cannot believe your ears, or they simply have never happened.

Elizabeth was quite busy that Tuesday, I would say too busy for a five-year-old girl. Hardly had she finished her piano class that morning, when her tutor of French arrived to help her brush up her grammar.

“What a lovely day, - Elli sighed. – I wish I could play and dance all day, just like those lazy girls in the neighborhood”.

This busy way of life was just too much for this young creature and it has never really made her happy either. However, her father claimed that it undoubtedly has a great impact on her education.

“Oh dear, why are you so selfish? Can’t you see the child is not happy with all your education stuff? Why don’t you let her have a normal childhood?” – her mother would  show her dissatisfaction time after time. And as you can see it never worked.

But as the twilight covered the city, her happiest time began. This Tuesday, as usual, her dear nanny Dorothy was ready with one of those stories that you usually do not believe.

“Good evening, young lady. I bet you can’t wait to hear my new story!”

“Oh darling, I don’t feel like listening to any stories tonight. All I need now is some rest.”

“I understand you so much, but there was one extraordinary boy, who could understand you even more…”

“Really? Was he as busy as me?”

“Even more, my princess, much busier. His parents were very famous linguists (each knew about 74 different languages) and as their first child was born, they decided that this one will know all the languages in the world by the time he turns 30. When they announced their intention in press, everyone thought it was crazy, but it has never stopped this marvelous couple. To their happiness, the child turned out to be an extremely obedient one (they even called him Obeyan), so he, unlike you, young lady, never ever complained about the amount of hours he had to study every day.

There are about 5 thousand languages in the world, so he had to learn about 166 languages a year, which equals about two days for each language. Quite challenging, isn’t it? So his parents had to hire the best tutors from all over the world and of course it wouldn’t succeed without brain stimulating pills, which were invented by a very talented Chinese scientist especially for them. Sometimes Obeyan even had to stay up all night to succeed in his studies, which certainly lead to huge health problems, to reduce which they kept asking for a helping hand from scientists.

With every language he learned, the heads of his parents grew more and more gray and as he finally learned all the languages in the world and got his lifetime financial provision for this his parents couldn’t swallow the delightfulness of it and died on the same day. In order to spread the blessed memory of his dear parents, Obeyan packed his bags and hit the road. First he went to Rome, then to Oslo, he also has visited Egypt, Sydney, Prague, Paris, London, New York and many other capitals. It gave him great pleasure that he could understand people whichever language they spoke, but he was also sad, because he hadn’t found the way to apply his great talent, so that it would help people.

Days and nights he spent thinking about the way to help all people in the world, when finally it occurred to him that the best way to do it is just to ask what people need. This was a great time for a new around the world journey with a generous intention to help people. He went from town to town, from village to village, asking people what they need in different languages. Unsurprisingly, that people all over the world were standing in queues to get some help from a generous multilingual man.  Some asked for money, some asked for happiness, some wanted the war to stop; others simply wanted a piece of advice on how to become successful in learning languages. And certainly, Obeyan tried his best to help everyone.

Consequently, the health of this extraordinary man grew poorer and he even started forgetting some languages he knew before. No matter how hard the best doctors of the world tried to save his life, the old age of his wouldn’t let him survive. And finally he died. Millions of people went to honor him and some of them even swore to follow his path of entire kindness.

And they actually kept their promise. Moreover, they even invented a special holiday for all to be kind and cheerful at least once a year.”

“Are you talking about Christmas, nanny?”

“Absolutely, my dear… Oh goodness, it’s high time you fell asleep. Nighty night, sweetheart”.

“Good night, darling” – whispered little Elli, closing her shinny eyes to see the sweetest dream about how she learned all the languages in the world and followed a fascinating road of kindness, just like Obeyan once did.

Author: Tetyana Gurchenko

"Why did you come to Brno?"

“Why did you come to Brno?” The phrase quickly became a familiar sound during encounters in my premature social life in this city. The question might as well have been: “How the hell did you end up in this hole?” Its honest curiosity, mixed with a genuine inability to think of any reason anybody would want to live in Brno. Why?

Dear people of Brno,

I have gone through a minor crisis. Without accusing anybody in particular, the crisis was started by “Why (the hell) did you come to Brno”, the reactions “so then.. you’re just on Erasmus right?” – “no, I'm here for a full degree”(me), which would then be followed by one of those meaningful silences (and I am not even mentioning the facial expressions accompanying all of this). Though, the most problematic aspect was on my side: I forgot why.

But now I remember again. Please listen, especially the Brno-ers.

Good study programs and courses. Social Sciences faculty of Masaryk University rocks. They try hard and good things come from it. It’s high up there somewhere, sharing the academic hemisphere with most universities I have heard about.

Affordable high quality student life (CHEAP). Surviving on instant Noodles and pasta with ketchup is the universal student diet – but not in Brno – where only the most uninspired cooks have to face this junk. In terms of eating and drinking for good prices, buying high quality food and living in the city center: Brno is student heaven.

Student city. Speaks for itself. (Students are awesome people.)

Brno is a beauty. Impressive architecture, parks, castles. Daring sexually tainted modern public art. Moravian Karst to the north, three beautiful cities within easy travel distance.

Really, if I was not already living here, I would want to move here in an instant.

And last but not least, the interesting Consonant/vowel ratio: BRRRNo (it amuses my Dutch friends).

So dear people of this lovely city, try to cultivate that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach when you think of your city, its not too bad. It’s not Prague, I know and you keep mentioning it, but aren’t we all glad its not?

Author: Roos Derks

This article originally appeared in HALAS, the magazine of students of the Faculty of Social Studies. The original version is available at http://casopishalas.cz/clanek/zobrazit/1624

Interview with Emma Smit

- an international student of the European Governance joint degree programme

Where do you come from, Emma?

From the Netherlands, actually, from Utrecht. I did the Bachelor of Public Administration at the Utrecht University.

Why did you choose Brno and Masaryk University?

Well, especially because of the master programme, because I always had interest in Europe and the European Union and since it is in collaboration with Utrecht University – it’s a double degree – the first year here in Brno, and the second one in Utrecht, I looked at the programme and I thought “well, this is really where my interest lies”. So I started looking at the Masaryk University and Brno and realized that actually it has a lot in common with Utrecht, it’s a student city, the second biggest city in the Czech Republic, which is the same for Utrecht in the Netherlands, so it instantly got my attention and I thought I’d really like to go.

How would you describe your programme, what is it about?

It’s called European Governance and it actually focuses on Europe in a very broad context, it’s about the European law, establishing the European Union, it also concentrates on Europe nowadays, European relations to United Nations and other countries outside Europe, so it’s about concentrating on the European Union from a broad perspective. I follow four courses this semester and each one considers different aspects of the EU.

Is there anything you especially like?

I really like the course on the establishment of the European Union, it’s about all the treaties and the development of the EU, and also the law course, because we come in contact with the real cases within the European Union. Each week we discuss recent news and I would say we really implement knowledge into practice.

After these few months you spent here, would you recommend this programme to other potential students? Why?

Yes, definitely because of the international context, that’s for sure. Right now I had a lecture over Skype with someone in the Netherlands. We are in contact with people from all over Europe, and it’s unique, this is a unique programme to me. Since it is a joint degree, I can experience both Brno and Utrecht and their special collaboration.

How would you describe your life in Brno?

Well, I try to live a kind of a Czech life, I try to be in contact with Czech people, I even started eating warm lunch – I never did that in the Netherlands, we just ate sandwiches during lunch. I also went to the ice hockey game few times. It’s awesome! I just want to get a season ticket. And of course, the breweries here, it’s so nice to have a real Czech beer place… I also really try not to limit myself to hang only with the Erasmus students, but also with the Czechs. I regularly meet my tutor – I have a Czech student tutor who helps me with everything and gives me tips on what to do and where to go here in Brno.

Did you have any problems with Czechs not speaking English?

Well, with students it is not a problem, they all speak English, but sometimes it is hard at the supermarket, or when buying a ticket for something.  Sometimes it is quite hard, but I understand that they do not understand me, so it’s the same for them. But I realized that even though Czech people may seem a bit cold at the beginning, they are very friendly when you get closer to them, and that is the same for Dutch people, so I see some similarities and am quite used to it. I definitely wouldn’t change my decision to come to Brno.

Get on the Tram!

Have you ever tried to drive a car in the centre of Brno, at about three or four o’clock in the afternoon? If not, don’t ever try it. And if yes, you will probably agree that the easiest and quickest way to get around the city, especially when you really need to be somewhere on time, definitely does not involve a car, but, as you may have guessed, the tram. And what is more, travelling by car would never provide you with such interesting observations, situations, and kinds of people as the tram. In fact, when looking for a great topic for some sociological research, the trams would definitely be the right place to go.

                So, who are the most distinctive “tram characters” one can meet? Let’s start with the students. They are usually divided into two major groups. First are the desperate students. You can find them nervously browsing through their notes, trying to cram the last pieces of knowledge into their brains. Notice the bloodshot eyes, the shaking hands, the quiet mumbling, and sometimes, the slight cloud of smoke above their heads. They appear especially in September, November, before and after Christmas, in February, April, and at the end of spring (please don’t feed them).  

                 The second type are the hung-over students. Very often, they are the same people you saw the day before, back when they were the “desperate students” (the only difference is that, now, the pre-examination despair has changed into a post-examination alcohol despair). Hiding their vacuous faces behind dark sunglasses even though it’s raining outside, gasping for breath at the nearest open window, they may appear a little lamentable and wretched. Please, show compassion and offer them a place to sit (but, as with the previous type, DON’T FEED THEM).
                 Moving on from the students (and especially from the hung-over ones), we get to a totally different sort of people, which you definitely should not offer a place to sit. They are the “proud people”, well-known for their “I-am-not-that-old” look, which, if it was possible, would kill you right at the moment you stood up to leave your seat for them.

                Actually, thinking about it, good deeds done in tram are often not so well appreciated as you would expect them to be. Stepping aside to let a woman get on the tram could cause the door to close right in front of your nose. Offering a seat to a woman because you think she is pregnant will backfire right after it leaks out that, in fact, she is not. When you want to help a young mother with her baby carrier, you could also easily end up with a giant slobbery spot on your shirt (well, okay – in some sense, this could be a toddler’s expression of gratitude).

                But do not be disappointed. The trams are not just a kind of scary “freak show” (although it really does look like it sometimes), and you do not always have to feel as though you’re caught in some perverted fairy tale in which bad wins and good loses. The tram could also be a place for miracles. Imagine all the old men and women with their crutches, moving slowly on the platform. At first sight, they look defenceless and harmless, but when the tram door opens, they suddenly gain an amazing vitality, and with youthful energy, they knock out all the other passengers just to get a place to sit. Have you ever heard of any medicine that could cause such a thing? We do not need doctors anymore. Trams are the cure!

                You may now think this whole article is more or less exaggerated. In that case, there is no better way to find out whether it is or not than to get on the tram and make your own observations. Soon, you will find out that the list of people you can see and the situations you can find yourself in when travelling on the tram is really endless. There, you can meet a man dressed in a giant black monkey costume, see Prince Charles’ wraith, observe a trapeze artist practicing his skills with the handrail, come upon an old woman trying to sell you gold rings, or find a group of boys dressed like they are going to participate in Spartakiáda.

                But be careful! You should never forget that you are a part of the whole “tram world“ as well. And maybe a day will come when you notice a girl sitting behind you, watching you carefully and writing down some notes. Do not be surprised, then, if you find yourself in an article like this.

Author: Barbora Vlachová

This article originally appeared in the spring 2013 issue of the Exit magazine published by The Book Club at the Faculty of Arts, Masaryk University. Online version available at www.phil.muni.cz/wtbc/home/magazine/exit-1/

The Big Semester Plan

The End of August

The feeling of utmost desperation comes to my brother when the end of August approaches. School again, homework again, no free time, teachers pushing him into what he certainly doesn’t need to do… While his older sibling (that’d be me) hilariously dances around the table uttering the words “I still have three weeks of holidaaaay!”

The End of September

The feeling of utmost desperation comes to me when the end of September approaches. Lectures again, essays again, no free time, professors pushing me into what I certainly don’t need to do… While my parents laugh at the idea of their children being ‘tortured ‘at school when actually they only have enormous amount of free time along with little studying for their exams.

The Big Semester Plan

When the time comes, I sit down and prepare a plan… I will attend every lecture and study right after the lecture so that it gets easy before the exams… I will definitely go to the library every week to check the reading professors will recommend… I will write the essays straight away so that I have enough time to party before the deadline… And I will definitely take up some volunteering to fill my free time with a meaningful activity…Yes, I will.

The Real Semester Time

When the time has come, I realised how little thorough my plan was… I could not go to every lecture, because I had to get a good sleep before it. I didn’t get a good sleep, because I was out with friends the night before. I had to go out, because I had been really tired after looking for those recommended books in the library. Now, since I was not at the following lecture, I cannot start writing my essay straight away. Therefore I can party now and write it short before the deadline. Therefore, however, I cannot get to any volunteering activities until I finish all my papers and am good for the exams...

So as it goes, I enjoy nights out until the exam period starts.

Then, in pain, I think… maybe I should have followed the big semester plan…